Conquering Math Anxiety: Master Numbers With Confidence With Meghan Drew
Struggling with math anxiety holding you back from your dreams? Actress, nutrition coach, and aspiring nurse Meghan Drew overcame her fear of math with the help of learning success coaching. Hear her inspiring story of transformation and how she's now on track to conquer nursing school (and maybe even impress the doctors on Grey's Anatomy!). This episode is packed with tips for anyone who wants to unlock their full learning potential and achieve their goals, no matter the subject!
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Conquering Math Anxiety: Master Numbers With Confidence With Meghan Drew
Celebrating Math Mastery With Learning Success Coaching
Welcome. I have the pleasure of speaking with my student, Meghan Drew. She's not just an actress featured in shows like Supernatural and Dil Rakh, but also a dedicated nutrition coach who believes in the healing power of food. Her unique approach to wellness helps people feel their best. Megan is working towards a new goal of becoming a nurse. She's sharpening her math skills to prepare for the nursing program. She credits Learning Success Coaching for making math easy for her and helping her achieve the best scores on her tests. Her journey shows a deep commitment to learning and helping others both on screen and in health and wellness. Meghan, welcome to our show.
Meghan, welcome to my show. I am so excited to speak to you.
Thanks for having me.
You're an upcoming actress. Tell me. Why did you want to become an actress?
Journey To Acting
I've always loved performing since I was a little kid. I would always put on little performances for my family. Originally, I wanted to be a singer, but I'm not that great of a singer. I would set my parents up with a little concert and would say, “I'm going to do a concert tonight.” I had a microphone, and I would set up chairs and make them watch me sing. That's where it started. I loved performing and playing as a child.
One of the things as an actress you have to overcome is being in front of others presenting. Was that ever a fearful part of the journey?
Yeah. I had a time in my life when I couldn't even order food at a restaurant. I was so shy for some reason. I wasn't shy when I was really young. Do you know the awkward stage when you're a teenager? For some reason, I was growing up and I was aware of myself, and I was shy. I decided to start acting classes. I was thirteen. That helped me because you have to go up and be vulnerable in front of so many people.
If a younger student or somebody who is thirteen years old is reading this, what would you tell them? You said awkward stage. We all go through them. What would you tell them?
If they wanted to act or in general?
In general. How do you get over that phase in your life where it’s like a question about your existence?
It’s something you have to go through. It's something that you're going to look back on and be like, “I remember that time.” It's a period of growth, figuring yourself out, and coming into this new awareness of being a teenager apart from being a kid. At 10 to 13, there's a really big switch. Your brain is developing. It’s different, but you'll get through it. You'll get through it and you'll look back and be like, “That was a weird time of my life, but that's okay. I got through that.” That's what I would say. If you're shy, try acting classes.
If you're shy, try acting classes
That's what I was going to ask. Even if I don't want to become an actress and it's not what I'm dreaming of, acting classes have helped you to overcome your shyness, right?
Yeah, a lot. I feel like this new generation is growing up with so much distraction, like TV, tablets, and TikTok. I didn't have that because I'm a ‘90s baby and I was still shy. Going to acting class for any kid would be fun to meet people, not be on your phone, and connect again. I feel like we're missing that a lot. Even if you don't want to be an actor, it's so fun to play. It's like being a little kid again. Everybody has a little inner child that wants to come out.
Do you do any techniques to prepare yourself before a scene?
Yes. I do research usually depending on the scene. If it's an emotional scene, there are different preparations because you really have to get into your body, read into it, and use your physicality. You can sometimes use scenarios or your imagination, but sometimes, when you do the audition or do the scene, it doesn't come up, so you have to have instant forgiveness. Pictures and music are helpful. Memorizing lines is important, but every acting teacher I've been with says that the lines aren't as important as embodying the character and being in the world. That’s a cool thing to me because you have to imagine it.
You have to escape into it.
If you don't experience things that much in your life, it's a different way to have empathy and experience something else that you wouldn't normally experience in day-to-day life.
You've been featured in some films. Tell me about the experience of working on Supernatural.
That was so fun. I was so nervous for Supernatural because it's such a big show, but it was REALLY fun. My co-stars were amazing. I played this girl. She was a little bit of a mean person. She was supposed to be the mean girl on the show and she gets stabbed. That was fun because I love shows like that, like Supernatural. I love horror shows, so I was excited about that one. It was such a good experience.
Is it a sequel? Is it a series of them?
It's a series. It's not on anymore, but it was on for 12 or 13 seasons. I can't remember how many seasons exactly, but it was on for a long time.
A Nutrition Coach To Aspiring Nurse
That's awesome. Apart from acting and being an actress, you are also a nutritionist and a nutrition coach. How did you get into that? It seems like they're not together.
They're not aligned. My family has been in that world for a really long time, so I feel like by default, I followed in their steps. All we have is our health pretty much. For me, I have a lot of sensitivities to different types of food and different ingredients. I find when I eat those things, I do feel a little bit low energy, weird, more emotional, or something. A lot of people are going through the world feeling that way, not knowing that they have these little sensitivities.
The interesting thing is that if you take out these things that you're eating, you can feel better. A lot of people don't know that these ingredients and unprocessed foods that we're eating can really affect us. That's fascinating to me. The human body is fascinating to me too. That's why I like it. I'm fascinated with how that all works in the body.
We need to understand what we're putting into our system. This is a functioning system. It is like you wouldn't put the different gas to diesel into your car. It's a different processing part, so you cannot combine them and say, “I’ll put some diesel and gas today and see how it works.”
There are different things in food. People are eating so healthy. Some people can be eating so healthy and they're like, “Why does my stomach still hurt all the time? Why am I feeling low energy?” It could be they have a problem with one of these. I don't know if I should explain because I might have to go into more detail, but it's called an anti-nutrient. Some of those things are on beans, which is why you need to soak beans before because some people are more sensitive.
Some people are like, “Why am I feeling this way when I'm eating so healthy?” It's because the little tiny molecules get into your body. You have a small reaction in the lining of your gut. It's really interesting to me these small things. We're like, “I'm eating healthy but I can still feel this way.” You can eat unhealthily and be like, “I feel fine,” even though there are other things going on in your body. I love that stuff, and I love learning.
Do you do one-on-one coaching with people?
I don't do one-on-one coaching. I have my diploma but I'm not doing coaching because I'm working for a nutrition school. I've been doing that for so many years. I'm not practicing yet. I would want to, but I also want to do nursing. I feel like I'm up in the air with everything that I want to do.
How did nursing come inside of coaching and being an actress? You’re thinking about nursing.
Nutrition is a part of making people feel better and so is nursing. It's a part of taking care of people and helping people. That goes into what I like doing. It's a more intimate thing that you can do with people. I would love to do that and experience that even though it's going to be so hard and will take many years. I feel like I have a good job, so I feel like I have the time to do that. It’s a good challenge.
When you say many years, how many years to become a nurse?
The nursing program takes about four years to become an RN. I also was looking into being a nurse practitioner and then a traveling nurse where you can travel around. That's another 2 or 3 years. It’s a long time. I'm 28, so that'll take a while, but I'm okay with that.
You're committed. I like it how you went from looking at your body from the nutrition side to taking care of it on the other side. This program is very important to you and dear to you and there's something that is stopping you or was stopping you from getting into this program. There are some requirements or prerequisites. That is our four-letter word, which is math.
The thing everybody loves.
Before, it was a scary word for you. Many students hate that word, right?
Yeah. People see the quadratic formula. Everyone's on Instagram and stuff. They'd make jokes and are like, “I remember this from math.” I'm always like, “How do people remember this still from high school?” They don't know how to apply it still, but it's funny.
Do you know how we usually remember the most beautiful moments and most frightening moments? When they saw that formula, they were like, “Um.”
They're like, “I remember that but I don't remember it.”
They’re like, “I don't know how to use it.” You don't feel that way. Let's start when you were young. Did you like math when you started school?
Conquering Math Anxiety
I did like math up in high school when it was algebra and stuff. I did enjoy it, but I feel like I would rather hang out with my friends than do homework in high school, so I didn't really apply myself. I got by. I was skating along and hoping for the best. I got a C minus in Math when I was in grades 10 and 11, and then I didn't take Math 12 because I was allowed to have a spare block. I was like, “I'm going to take the spare block instead of Math.” I struggled when I was in Math 11. That's when I struggled, and that's when I got the C minus. I barely passed.
After you decided to take this program, the nursing program, you saw there are prerequisites of math that you must do, so then you started taking it. You said you liked it, and then because you hung out with friends, Math in high school became a little less, “I don't want to do work. I want to do this.” During that time, do you feel like you drifted away from math, and then when it came back, you forgot a lot of stuff you learned?
Yeah. I forgot almost everything that I learned when I went to do math for this nursing program. I was like, “I remember algebra, but there are so many rules.” Especially when you're doing Math 11, there's the quadratic formula and linear equations. In all of those things, you need to know the basics to do everything else. You have to keep going back to those, and then it builds. If you don't have the foundation, everything's going to fall apart. You're going to be like, “I don't remember how to do that.” I knew it was going to be hard like that, but I didn't know it was going to be that hard.
With math, if you don't have the foundation, everything's going to fall apart.
When you and I first met you were like, “I could take a couple of classes and then refresh it, and then I’ll go do the test.” Did that work?
No, that did not work. I was like, “I'll have a few sessions and I'll be fine,” and then I was like, “I have to continue this and get it ingrained in my brain.” I feel like if anyone is doing math, it's very beneficial to keep doing tutoring as well while you're doing the classes. I am a big procrastinator on things that are important. When it comes to doing homework and stuff, I feel like tutoring is an extra push to do the homework because then, you come back for the tutoring session. It's more helpful because you have someone to keep you accountable when you go to tutoring every week. That's what I really like because, in class, the teacher doesn't give you that one-on-one time that you would get when you're getting tutored.
When you came to me for the first time around, I was tutoring you. This time around, I'm coaching you. There's a difference. I started coaching you because you're not a person who doesn't know the math concepts because you never had a fear of math. You were okay in math. I noticed that because you had that gap of not doing math, you developed anxiety over math. You had a huge anxiety. You were anxious about math. It is also a big part of you entering this nursing program, so you have pressure on top of it. The second time around when we're working together, I'm coaching you. In that coaching, what happened? How is math for you now?
In the sessions, it helps me feel better. I remember always saying to you, “I'm scared,” or, “This is so hard. I can't do this.” You were like, “Don't say that. Try to retrain your brain and say, “I can do this. It's easy. I got it. I remember it.” You also recommended me to meditate before my exam, breathe, and try to be calm. I did all of that and I felt like it helped. When I'm like, “This is hard,” I'm like, “I know this. I did this in my homework. I did this with you. I can do this.” It helps with the anxiety a lot. I’ve gotten better.
Before the training that I've been starting to give you through the coaching, when you went to the test, you were talking to your brain. My methodology is all about talking and taking control of our brains. When you were talking, you were telling your brain, “I can't do this. This is too hard. I don't know. I never learned this. I’ve never seen this. This is so hard.” That was your whole coaching.
My whole body tenses up. The numbers were everywhere. I was like, “I don't know what this means.” It's like, “Solve,” and I'm like, “What does solve mean again?” Now, I'm like, “I know this.”
That is because you changed how you talk to your brain.
How you talk to your brain really affects how you're going to do your math and how you're going to do your test.
How you talk to your brain really affects how you're going to do your math.
Also, how your body feels because you're in a state of relaxation. When you read a word, it doesn't move. The numbers don't move anymore.
It really helps to be relaxed. You're not so hard on yourself too. I know you can be hard on yourself, but then, in the end, you're like, “I did my best. That's all I can do.”
You can say that with conviction because you applied it yourself instead of saying, “I don't know this.”
It's embarrassing if I do that after. I'm like, “I feel so bad right now,” because I tricked my brain into being like, “I don't know this.” I go home and I'm like, “I knew that question. Why didn't I sit there and breathe?”
That was happening to you a lot. You would leave out questions that you knew exactly how to do it by freaking yourself out.
Pretty much.
It becomes a horror movie. The test is a horror movie.
I'm so scared. I'm running out of that test.
That's awesome. I like that analogy, a horror movie. It’s like, “Here comes the horror.”
It gets worse.
You have to sit through it. At least in horror movies, if you don't like it, you can walk out or something. Here, you're forced to sit for the next 90 minutes. You better sit with it and endure it. That's awesome. Since you've been able to train your brain also, you don't procrastinate. The minute you've found a little bit of success, the procrastination vanishes.
I have like a new baseline where I'm like, “I can do this. Let's do this.” It helps with low self-esteem too, in everything because you're like, “I'm doing this. I know I can procrastinate, but I'm doing this now, and I know I can do this.” It shows when you take the test and the quizzes. It's a really nice feeling. It's not a good feeling when you have anxiety. You take the test and get a bad mark consistently. You start being like, “Why am I even doing this?”
It's so sad that here's this math. You are a wonderful person with this beautiful outlook to be a nurse who cares, who loves, and who's already into nutrition. You want to add the other side, but this math stops you from reaching your goal that's over here. You feel even defeated when one subject like that cannot let you go where you want to go. People might ask, “In which part of nursing am I going to apply the quadratic equation again? I don't see myself going C squared equals B squared plus B squared to my patients.”
I know. I dream about the quadratic equation. When I'm going to bed, my brain shows it, but I'm like, “When I have kids, I can help them with the quadratic equation then.”
Do you feel that you can help someone else too?
Yeah, I do. My little sister turned sixteen. My little sister is in Math 10. She's going into Math 11. I'm like, “I can help her a little bit.” I told her she should probably get tutoring or coaching because it'll be helpful. I was like, “You can ask me a question because I did that.”
You should coach her. You should train her because she'll be so proud to learn from her big sister too. You'll be proud to teach her. That's another thing. Teaching others makes us even more good at what we know. Teaching her will make you better too. Before, the test was close to failing. Now, you're getting what? B plus?
Yeah. That was when I was really sick with the flu and I missed one of the classes. I missed the Wednesday class and the test was on a Monday. I had coaching with you on the Monday before the test. I had read through the book and tried my best even though I was so exhausted and so tired. My brain was so tired that I was already relaxed.
When I went for the test, I was like, “I'm going to do my best. I've done the coaching with you. I'm relaxed. I feel like I'm good. I'm going to do my best. That's all I can do.” I then did the test and was like, “I know this. I can do this.” My brain wasn't on fully like it usually is. It was what you said, talking to your brain, not having anxiety, and being relaxed.
That's the test that I got a B on. I was shocked. I was like, “Really?” I said to myself, “What if I got a good mark on this test because I'm not fully there?” and I did. I was like, “Is it because my brain wasn't on fully and I wasn't talking to my brain poorly? I was saying, “I'm going to do the best I can do.” It was a good feeling.”
We have to talk nicely to our brains. We tend to be so hard on it. It doesn't do anything to turn on all the wrong neurochemicals to make us get all the wrong feelings. We get them all going, and then we wonder, “Why don't I understand any of this? I’ve never seen this.” When you get the test back, you look at it and go, “I know that question. I could have done that question. What was I thinking when I was on the test?” That's because these chemicals are clouding your mind. We create it. Isn't it powerful to know that you have control over that?
Yes. It's extremely powerful and so helpful
As an actress, you've mastered acting.
Remember when I said I was so shy when I was younger? I remember going to my first few auditions in the room and I would have this same feeling that I did when I was taking the math test. They were things that I was nervous about, scared about, or things that I think are important. I would get such bad anxiety that I would shake. My body would shake. I had to train my brain to be like, “It's okay. I'm safe. It's fine. I can do this. If I mess up, it's okay.” It was instant forgiveness. Coming back and doing math, it's almost like in the beginning, I forgot about that that I was doing that for acting. You helped me remember to talk to my brain better.
Learning Success Coach
When you came to me first, you said, “I need a couple of classes. Help me with this.” For me, as a tutor, I was a tutor for so many years. People would come to me like that at the last minute or the last couple of months before that test, exam, or whatever. I would help them. I only have enough time to push content. I'm giving you strategies about, “This is how you do it. Do this question again. Try it again.”
The problem is it's all content. I have to do it because you're coming to the end. Even if it's 2 or 3 months before, as a tutor, always focus on the content. That's what you came to me. You were like, “Help me with math,” so I helped you with math, but that alone doesn't work. You can know all of the rules and go to a test and bomb that test. Walk away with bombing it. I saw it again and again. That's how I shifted to becoming a Learning Success Coach. That's what my shift was because I didn't want my kids and my students to go and bomb the test.
At that time when I was doing it, and this is many years ago, I would say, “Why did my student bomb? I gave them all the techniques. They know all the concepts. What happened?” It was because they were not talking to their brain properly. The brain goes off in a different direction than where they need to go. Everything they knew, they don't remember.
It goes out the window.
Do you feel like you can apply to the nursing program?
I do. I feel so much more confident about it. I have my final exam coming up and I feel really good. I'm going to do the review from the beginning to now. I’ll look over all my past tests and go into it talking to my brain nicely, training my brain, and saying, “I got this. I know what I'm doing.”
I know you had the flu last time. This time, you have to get a little bit more rest. A lot of people think you study last minute and cram it. That's also not good, cramming it. Procrastination and cramming go together. We need to separate them.
I was a crammer before, but that's why now, I'm like, “Let's start from the first one.” Sometimes, I go from 0 to 100. I would be like, “Let's do as much as we can today and do as much tomorrow,” and then I get tired. My brain is tired. I'm like, “I'm really tired. I need to go to sleep.” For a few days, I won't do anything, and then I put it off.
I'm trying to be like, “Small sections every day.” That's what's going to set me up for success, being like, “Let's do this amount of pages. We don't have to overwhelm ourselves right now. We can do this and start sooner,” even though it's hard. As a procrastinator, it's so hard to start sooner, but you have to say, “Let's sit down and do this. Let's sit down an hour, brain.”
Structure it into your schedule as 10 or 20 minutes of little chunks versus 3 hours. That does not help than those 10, 20, or 30 minutes. With math, you have a different relationship. Before, you were procrastinating because you didn't like it. When you got to it, the math didn't really invite you. It was pushing you away and you were like, “Here I sit with math again.” It's not like that anymore.
It’s fun.
I want you to tell me about it. Keep going.
It's fun. It’s a different part of the brain, but it's similar to being creative. It's really nice when you can solve things and do things. You're like, “You can use the quadratic formula,” or, “You can do factoring,” or, “You could do so many things to solve this, and then you can graph it.” I find that cool. The word problems are still pretty hard for me to do. I'm working on getting better at them. I'm starting to see them as something that's fun to solve because you can use them in everyday life. It's starting to be cool to me. I'm like, “You draw the word problems, which is a creative thing, and then do the triangle.” We're doing trigonometry. I was like, “This is pretty cool. This is a cool thing.” Also, it is telling myself that instead of, “I have to do this. It's a chore.” It's gotten more fun to do it because I’m doing the work.
It clicked for you. Before, it was forced. You were forcing it. You were like, “Here, I have to do it for the degree that I want to go into or the program that I want to go into. I have to do it.” You're no longer feeling like that. You're like, “I can do this, so let's go do it.” You're connecting it. Already, your face is getting so excited. You were talking about the diagonal length of this triangle, the Pythagorean theorem. If you want to package something and put a ribbon across, you can calculate how long you need for that ribbon.
It's going to be perfect.
There won't be extra hanging off of the end. There's an application. When you start picturing it and seeing it not just on paper but really seeing it, it's everywhere. 90 degrees is all over our house. Every wall and every ceiling is 90 degrees right there. It's all over. We have to accept math and invite math. It's not how it's taught either. It’s taught as a dry subject, like, “You have to learn this. There are formulas. Learn the formulas. Memorize it.” There's no way you can memorize math.
That too. I feel like I learn in a little bit of a different way. It takes me a tiny bit longer. Do you know how some people can be like, “It's that. That's the answer.” For me, I have to be like, “I need to make sure I understand this fully step-by-step and process it,” and then I'm like, “I understand it now.” Usually, teachers don't work that way.
That's why when I go to you after I've had my class and I'm confused and overwhelmed, and I'm like, “That was a lot,” you would help me view it in a different way. I am then like, “Yeah.” How you taught it to me makes me see it differently. It could be by using a song or using certain things and saying, “This is why this is like this. This is why this is like that,” instead of the teacher being like, “This is how you do this. Do it.”
It's a different language. They use a different language. Also, they're lecturing. They're not coaching you. They're doing a lecture. The lecture is to throw the information at you. It’s a different format. Also, when you're learning with everyone else, it's in the middle. You said, “I learn differently.” Each one of us learns differently. This is one of the faults of our education system. We try to teach it to all to the middle, and all these outlier students like you and I don't fit in the middle aisle. We're on the outside of it. We're like, “I don't get it. I don't know.” We start doubting our own ability. We then think, “They're all getting it. I must not be that smart.”
That's where it starts, talking to your brain in a bad way.
You're seeing it in front of you. It's witnessing. You see these middle kids getting it, and you're the outlier student. You're going, “How come they're getting it? How come I can't get it? There must be something wrong with me.”
I would also say to any kids doing Math, I used to be anxious about saying an answer out loud. You're called on in class and they're like, “What's the answer?” If you don't know and somebody else says it, you feel embarrassed. That doesn't allow you to feel comfortable in your Math class because you feel less than somebody else. I started to be like, “It's okay if I don't know the answer. It's okay if the other student yells it out because at least I'm learning.” I feel like it's good to not know things because then, you learn. That doesn't mean you're not smart or anything. It means you learn differently and you really need to process. That's okay. To tell yourself that is awesome. I wish I had done that when I was younger.
We don't though. We're not trained. We're not helped like that. We always want the right answer. I like the wrong answer. I like it when someone makes a mistake. I'm like, “Tell me how we got there.” By telling the other person how you got there, you can always figure out your own mistake. You're like, “I did that wrong. I can tell it's not right.”
You know for the next time.
When you catch yourself like that. What can you offer? It looks like you have a very centered, grounded, and strong personality. How do you think you developed that?
I feel like sometimes, I can be in my shell. Other times, I can be outgoing. I have a little bit of social anxiety in big groups sometimes, and other times, I don't.
Who doesn't?
Some people do. I'm like, “I love their personality. They could say things.” It's age, honestly, because I started being like, “I want to be myself. I have a lot to offer.” It's okay if people take that the wrong way. I'm a very emotional person. If people think I'm emotional, it's okay because my family knows who I am and my closest people know who I am. That's really what matters. With everything else, we should be happy. We should enjoy life, have fun, and laugh. I started thinking about that and was like, “I want to be myself,” and that's okay, but I would've never thought about that when I was younger because you want to be accepted.
A lot of these youngsters, especially girls and boys as well, the young men, are caught up in the social media realm. Everyone posts like they're always happy, which we all know that's not reality. No one's happy every time.
Reality is up and down. That's why it's also good not to be on social media as much. Go outside. Have fun with your friends. Put your phone away for a while.
Social Media And Devices
How did you manage to find that balance? You're pretty much in that era where you already had Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat too, right?
Yeah. I got Facebook when I was maybe 12 or 13. I had a childhood where there wasn't really a lot of that, which was nice. I had a normal childhood. I’m sorry. What was the question?
I was wondering how you managed to balance that in your life. You said that at this age, you're still saying, “I want to hang out with my friends or do the outside stuff with family.” Some people are glued to their phones. That's their world.
I'll be honest. Some days, I'm like that, and then I'm like, “Why am I feeling so sad today?” It's an exchange of energy when you're looking at the phone. You have to parent yourself and say, “I got to put my phone away and go outside or go for a walk even in nature. I want to feel good.” It comes from a place where I want to be happy and I want to feel peace. Scrolling through Instagram doesn't make me feel that way. It makes me feel anxious.
Usually, if I open my Instagram, I'll see the first couple of posts and then I'll put it away or I go to my homepage and it's all dogs. It's not that many people. It's all dog videos or cat videos. It's really hard to tell a teenager to not go on their phone because they're teenagers. Everyone has Snapchat. Everyone's on Instagram. I hope that they can grow out of that and be like, “We shouldn't be doing this,” but it's hard when you have a full generation of people with their tablets, phones, and stuff.
It was nice when you said that. You said, “I had a normal childhood.” Do you think growing up with phones, iPads, and all these devices is not a normal childhood?
It's not normal. Seeing my younger siblings grow up with that, I was like, “This is so weird. They're always on their phones.” It's sad. I'm like, “Go outside. Go to the playground. Go with your friends.” My little sister is starting to do that. She goes out with her friends and goes outside and stuff, so that's a really good thing. There are some people who don't do that. As a parent, you also have to be like, “If I take the phone away, my kid's going to hate me for a bit,” but it might be good.
You have to set boundaries.
I’m not a parent, so I wouldn't know. It’s the boundary thing. Kids can be like, “I want my phone. I want to talk to my friends.” It’s the teenager being a teenager when you don't like your parents for a bit.
Still, parents have to step in and really put a boundary to it. Teenagers don't know boundaries. You said, “I feel anxiety when I'm too much on my Instagram or whatever.” That Snapchat stuff can keep you occupied. I'm not a user of it, but I think that you see different photos, pictures, and videos coming up, so it keeps you constant.
Our attention span is so short now. Going through a 1-minute video, there's an interesting fact. You get to twenty seconds and you're like, “It’s too long.” Our attention span is getting short. There are kids with mental health problems. It's getting bigger. It's really sad.
Anxiety is the biggest. Depression and anxiety have been huge since COVID especially too. You said, “I'm not a mom,” but if you were to become a mom, what would you do with your children?
I would want to go camping with them and go outside with them. I'm very grateful that I'm really close to my family. I would bring them over and have them spend time with family and everything. I'm excited to have kids.
What would the boundary look like for these devices? What age would you introduce the phone to them or the iPad to them?
I'm not sure. I know that I would want to watch some cartoons with my kids. I would want to watch some cartoons from when I was young with them, but I don't know if I would give them a tablet for a long time. I'd probably give them something else for their brain. Do you know those Rubik's cubes?
Yes.
It could be something like that to try to keep them occupied. Also, I can't say because some kids go to school and then their friends have tablets and they don’t. They feel left out or they feel weird. It's really hard. I would assume it would be hard as a parent to see your kid feeling left out or different. Kids can be mean to each other, so I don’t know.
It's hard as a parent to see your kid feeling left out or feel different because kids can be really mean to each other.
That’s true. They're growing up in an environment where others have it. You said something beautiful, which was, “I would watch it with them.” Even for my son who is 17, I used to watch everything pretty much with him until he was 5 or 6. I was with him all the time, doing the stuff. We watched Finding Nemo for the millionth time. He puts it in and I'm like, “Again? Okay.”
I feel like that's universal for kids. Mine was Spice World on repeat. I was like, “Can we watch this again?” and they’re like, “Okay.”
Finding Nemo and Cars were our go-to.
I love those too as well. Those are really good movies. I still watch them as an adult.
I probably know the script inside out because he forced me to watch it. It was like, “Can I learn something else?” I remember him saying this a couple of months ago. He was doing a Biology test exam or test preparation. He said he didn't do well in Chemistry but he did really well in the Biology part of that. He's in grade eleven. I said, “How come? What happened to the Chemistry part? How come you understand this? Maybe you like Biology?” We were having a conversation. He said, “No. It’s because I watched all the Magic School Bus.” He remembered from Magic School Bus the systems in his body.
That's so funny. It helped. The cartoons helped.
From that age, he remembers Magic School Bus. He hasn't watched it in years since he was seventeen. Those things that we do with our kids, they remember.
He had a positive feeling to it, so it was almost like, “This could be fun.”
I bought him the whole series when he was young. That's another thing we watched together all the time. It's really cool how the bus goes through your digestive system. It’s like, “You must remember your esophagus.” It's interesting what we do with our kids. You said, “I don't know what age.” With my experience and with all the kids I'm working with and the families, up until six years old, even if you introduce the iPad, and no phone, but TV, or any other devices, be with them. Experience it with them. That's how you can set that boundary later on because you've enjoyed it together. It was a tool to enjoy something. We liked it together. We don't want to establish that, “I'm giving you this because I don't want you to bother me.” Do you see the difference?
Yes.
That's where it goes wrong. If I replace myself with the iPad, guess what? By six years old, they'll need a mother or dad because they're going to look up to you for food or be like, “Give me some money.”
That's not what you want.
They’re like, “I have my phone. Sorry. Get lost.” That's where it gets scary. It’s not their fault. Who trained them? I trained them because I substituted my attention for an iPad or phone, and the phone helped them.
They really want your attention.
Six years old. Until then, you have to be there. My son and I have such a strong bond because until he was five, I never left his sight. He's going to school in preschool and stuff, but I was there. I was his caretaker. We had such a strong bond. He tells me he's proud of me. That's the relationship we have.
That's so cute. I love that.
If you have kids, I would strongly recommend 5 or 6. Those are the best times to enjoy too. Otherwise, what's the point of having a kid?
I hear it goes by so fast too.
He's seventeen. He's in Chile studying Spanish.
That's awesome. He's probably having the most amazing time.
He's got a nice wonderful family there looking after him. All that is possible because he's grounded and because of those times we spent like that. You have that. You have a family structure too, right, and a strong value?
Yeah.
You guys celebrate things together. You eat dinner together. That's another place we put our phones away. Do you guys have that where when you're together, you separate that?
Yeah. We spend time together in the present. I really love that.
Is there anything you want to say to young girls?
I would say, “Believe in yourself. Have fun. You're as beautiful and amazing as you are. Try not to compare yourself to other people.” I know it sounds so weird. When I was that age, if someone said that to me, I would be like, “You don't understand.” I remember saying that to my mom or older people when they were giving me advice. Try to remember that you're enough. I wish somebody said that to me when I was young. That's what I would say, to remember that.
Believe in yourself. Have fun. You're beautiful and amazing as you are. Try not to compare yourself to other people.
At that time, I was a teenager too. At that time, we were more rebellious. We're like, “You don't understand me.” My nieces, my stepdaughters, and everyone always say, “You don't understand what I'm going through.”
You're like, “I do. I went through that too.”
It’s like, “Maybe you're going through it in some more extreme than I did.” In our age, we didn't have the social media thing where somebody could be making fun of you because your nose is not the way they wanted it to look or something like that. They want to change their face. Instead of accepting it, we all want to change everything about ourselves.
The teenagers and the TikTok that they do and stuff, I'm like, “When I was a teenager, we had the photo booth. We were doing really weird and funny TikToks of having fun. We weren't trying to be perfect and proper.” I'm like, “The teenagers now look like they're nineteen.” I had braces. I had all this acne when I was that age. I'm like, “It's so different now.” People are growing up so fast. It’s the pressure of social media.”
If you think about a lot of these people, they use so many filters and Photoshop their faces. It's not even real.
Nobody looks like that. Even in my photo on Zoom, I don't even look like that. That's a photo where the lighting's perfect and I'm wearing a lot of makeup. My pores are a little bit smaller because I'm airbrushed a bit. We got to remember real life. We're all perfect as we are.
The thing is, the role models we see are Photoshop. A lot of the role models who appear to be role models are so perfect. Also, what is perfect has been altered, like lips. Those are not perfect lips. They're made-up lips. Our little younger kids are looking at those puffed-out lips that are doing that or duck lips, beaks, or something. I'm not sure what to call them. Whatever they're called, I’m behind on that terminology. They're getting a false impression because beautiful lips don't look like that. They're not real. There’s lots going on. I'm so proud of you because you pushed past your fear to learn math. In your goal to become a nurse, you will do it. Math won't stop you.
Not anymore.
Thank you so much for joining me.
Thank you. It was so amazing talking to you.
Thank you so much.
---
There you have it. That was an interview with Meghan, one of my students. She came to me as a tutoring student at the beginning, asking me to help her in a few classes to pass a math class. She didn't have full understanding. Also, she had full anxiety about the subject. The subject that she once hated and something that she was afraid of, she is getting a B in her class.
She's so happy how she was able to achieve this not just by learning the content, but by applying and helping her brain how to learn math and how to learn to do an exam or test. A lot of the time, our students and our kids are not taught in the classroom how to really do an exam or test. The anxiety kicks in and they forget everything. Everything clouds. We don't remember anything that we could even remember without being in that stressful situation.
I wanted to bring her to this show because she is an upcoming actress. She has this nutritional business as well and she's looking into combining that with becoming a nurse. In the beginning, she never thought she could get into this nursing program because this one subject, that four-letter word, math, was going to stop her from going into that program. You have read how excited she is and how she's looking forward. The only thing she needed was a B, and she's not still done. We have a final exam to do. When she finishes that, she's going to get into the program she always wanted. She believes she can achieve whatever she wants.
This is a very important subject for many of our kids and students because it's a subject that is involved with many of the programs that you want to take in post-secondary. It’s really important for us to feel good about this subject and have a good relationship with the subject. You all know my story. I'm a suicide survivor. For me, math became a therapy after that. It helped me to become the person I am.
It is truly a therapeutic subject if we learn to appreciate its beauty and learn from someone who loves the subject. If you learn from someone who fears the subject, who doesn't have the understanding, and who doesn't appreciate the beauty of that subject, you will also develop that anxiety as well.
I wanted to bring Meghan because she is a person who grew up with some of the social media. Also, we talked about having kids. As a young mother, if you're reading, or a young dad, it's really important to make sure that we set boundaries. Even if you don't have those boundaries because you grew up with social media and all the devices, you still must set up these boundaries and balances for your little kids.
Do not ever substitute your present for a device because if they learn that you don't care and you're going to give them the device, they will become dependent on the device that gives them dopamine kicks. It's really important from the beginning up until they are age six. I believe age six is the purest year of their life. You must be there and be present as much as you can. Even if you have a busy life, even if you have busy work, or even if your life is not good, you must be there for them. Read my book, Cracking the Parenting Codes, which is on Amazon. It will give you the codes to be the parent of 21st-century students and kids. Thank you for reading. I'll see you on another episode.
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About Meghan Drew
Meghan Drew is not just an actress featured in shows like "Super Namtrul" and "Dil Rakh," but also a dedicated nutrition coach who believes in the healing power of food. Her unique approach to wellness helps people feel their best. Currently, Meghan is working towards a new goal of becoming a nurse. She's sharpening her math skills to prepare for a nursing program and credits Lesrning Success Coaching for making math easy and helping her to achieve best test scores. Her journey shows a deep commitment to learning and helping others, both on-screen and in health and wellness.
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